boozer update

what a way to kick off 2009-10: carlos boozer goes 3 of 14 from the field against denver in a 114-105 loss. this season promises to produce many opportunities to poop on boozer.

a post just to poop on boozer

as i watch the blue devils poop all over xavier, it seems like an appropriate time to poop on a former dookie and the namesake of this blog: carlos boozer.

for those if you haven't been paying attention to the utah jazz this season... wait, let me start that sentence again. for those of you who have a life, you probably haven't noticed that carlos boozer has been riding the bench with a bum knee. he's contributed almost nothing to the jazz this season; in fact, the man hasn't played since before thanksgiving.

so, of course, what better time to come out and declare that you're going to opt out of your contract at the end of the season?

okay, despite my hatred for its hoops squad, duke is a great academic university, and i'm sure its graduates are all intellectual studs. carlos boozer, however, does not seem to be among the smart ones. why else would he come out and declare he doesn't need the jazz when they most clearly don't need him?

as chris sheridan points out, while boozer has been filing his nails on the pine every night, paul millsap has been kicking ass, averaging 15 and 9 while making less than 10% of what boozer does. and we all know about boozer's penchant for cutting and running (and not in the backdoor kinda way). why risk more money on him?

so, carlos boozer, way to make it easy on your GM to get rid of you. sure, you'll find a job somewhere else. but let's see how much game you have in the paint without kirilenko and okur drawing all defenders by draining threes from the wing.

uh... i don't think so

sometimes, espn just gives sports journalism a bad name.

in a poll of its divisional bloggers, espn found that kurt warner was the runaway leader for nfl mvp.

runaway leader.

we're talking guaranteed 1-pick, 2-sacks a game kurt warner. we're talking plays-in-the-nfc-west kurt warner. we're talking are-you-shitting-me-it's-the-arizona-cardinals kurt warner.

yes, he does have a 99.1 passer rating. but let's remember that he gets to throw to the three towers every week. and it's not like seattle is putting up a ton of resistance as kurt rambles down the field.

you have to respect what arizona has done this year, regardless of how weak its division is. but kurt warner is not your nfl mvp.

if you don't want to drink the kurt warner haterade, consider the list of players who received zero votes in this poll. notable absences including titans QB kerry collins, giants RB brandon jacobs, atlanta QB matt ryan, colts DE dwight freeney... the list goes on. true, these may not be conventional mvp candidates, but do they really deserve as little as zero votes? i mean, even clinton portis got three votes.

poop on espn's nfl bloggers.

Sports, politics, Chuck Klosterman, and Carlos Boozer

Three of my favorite things and one of my least favorite.

From an interview at Mouthpiece Sports:

Q: Both Barack Obama and Sarah Palin have basketball backgrounds. (Palin was dubbed “Sarah Barracuda” in high school; Obama likes to play in sweat pants and a tucked in t-shirt.) Who wins in a one-on-one game to 11 and why?

A: Obama has the size and the skills, but Palin would probably want it more. However, if it was a game of 2-on-2 and you had to pick a teammate from your own region, Obama would win easily. An Obama-Mark Aguire tickets destroys Palin and Carlos Boozer.

the sentiment is spreading

it seems that more and more people want to poop on boozer. well, at least, they seem to be interested in boozer and poop.

check out RockyBalboa's post on cougarboard.com. i'm not quite sure what this website is, either, but this user seems to want to see boozer "give a poop."

any thoughts, coach k?

coach k poops on boozer

so, i generally don't like anything about coach k because he's a dookie and i love the terps. but on friday night in beijing, he did something awesome.

he pooped on boozer.

as chris sheridan points out, coach k chose to go with carmelo anthony and tayshaun prince at center instead of boozer when dwight howard and chris bosh got into foul trouble. who knows why coach k did it; for now, though, it's just a day to celebrate a successful pooping on boozer.

pooping on your own team, temporarily

it's august 21st. jorge posada has been shut down, joba chamberlain isn't looking too hot, and sidney ponson and carl pavano might make up 2/5ths of your rotation.

yes, you are a yankees fan.

but today, as the bronx bombers spiral slowly towards .500, don't you think it might be time for a change? isn't it time you stopped wasting your time on rooting for the yankees - and started focusing all your energy on rooting against the red sox?

i know, i know - you already root against the red sox with every bone in your body. but there's another way to go over the top. it's time to root for the tampa bay rays.

we all do it to a certain extent. lakers fans root for the kings when they're playing 1st-place phoenix. red wings faithful root for the blackhawks when they're up against nashville. you don't like either team - but you certainly hate one team more.

now, the yankees are certainly a team that you can never count out of the race. but a 10-game lead in mid-august doesn't look too promising. hell, even the tigers are "just" 11.5 games out.

so is there any shame in rooting for the rays? we're talking about a team that set a club record by winning 71 games this season. yankees fans shouldn't hate the rays as much as pity them. and since the chance of seeing pinstripes in the postseason is severely declining, why not cheer on the team that is making the red sox look silly - not to mention the only team that seems to be able to beat the we-almost-always-sweep-the-yankees-now angels?

i dropped my inter-divisional hatred to root for the rockies last season. it's time yankees fans woke up and smelled the tropicana, too.

Merde en Boozer?

http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/view/61653

Poop on Manny

Ladies and gentlemen, the first person I would officially like to poop on through this site is one Manuel "Manny" Aristides Ramírez Onelcida. First of all, I had no idea Manny Ramirez was actually named that until I just looked it up four seconds ago. But that's not why I want to poop on him. The reason is this: since his hotly contested trade to the Dodgers, Mr. Onelcida is hitting .565 with four homers and nine RBI's in six games.

Now, those are unholy, ungodly numbers, but there are several potential nonpoopworthy explanations. The first, obviously, is random coincidence. It's certainly not unheard of for a hitter to get that hot, and the fact that Manny happened to start tearing the cover off the ball the day he first felt the California sunshine could just be a coincidence.

There's also the AL/NL factor to consider. It's no secret the American League has dominated its counterpart over the past decade in everything from World Series titles to All-Star Game wins to interleague play records. Manny could be the latest embodiment of what is known as the Renteria Principle, in which a player's production shifts significantly once he changes leagues, inciting riots and civil unrest in Boston.

My guess is that both of these factors have contributed, in at least a small way, to Manny's hot streak, but there's also the stench of deliberate sabotage. You may not believe the charge that Scott Boras promised the Red Sox that Manny would play nice if they let him become a free agent next season, but at this point it's tough to put anything past Boras, or Manny. And this offer/ultimatum certainly makes it seem as if Manny Ramirez was not only deliberately being a terrible teammate, but also sacrificing his on-field production in order to necessitate a trade. It's not quite the 1919 World Series, but it's also not the way the game was meant to be played. Obviously, as a Red Sox fan, I'm biased, but I think we can all get behind pooping on that.

EDIT: I should add that there would, in fact, be some irony in pooping on Manny.

welcome to poop on boozer

how many former harvard sportswriters does it take to pen a blog? that's the question we hope to answer here at poop on boozer.

what's in a name, you may ask? well, you may not think you know what poop on boozer means, but you have felt the sentiment. everyone who has booed a numbskull ref, everyone who has been disgusted by the slippery moves of a rival coach or GM, and everyone who has wanted to fire joe morgan knows what it means to poop on boozer. a hatred of all things carlos boozer is not required to read this blog - but it can't hurt.

in the spirit of poop on boozer, never be afraid to poop on us. disagree with what we say? call us out. hell, that's what we'll be doing to each other. and when the sports world throws some shit your way, poop right back.

this is poop on boozer. welcome.