ridiculous contracts

news broke today that the chicago blackhawks had snagged winger marian hossa to a $68.2 million deal. not too shabby, you might say - but still just a fraction of the money that sluggers like mark teixeira are getting.

but wait... there's more.

this deal keeps hossa with the hawks for - count 'em - 12 years. 12 years. one dozen. double-digits. eleven more than one. no matter how you put, that's a long ass time.

okay, this guy is clearly a great player. he's been successful in every city he's played in, and he helped detroit to another stanley cup finals run in 2008-09. but he's 30 years old. how can a team bank on someone being effective until the age of 42? we're not talking about a low-contact sport like golf where average career spans extend well into middle age. this is a heavy-hitting league, and as a star scorer, hossa takes his fair share of hits every season. he's going to get banged up, and even if he avoids major injuries, it's pretty tough to predict whether he'll be able to maintain his performance levels several years from now.

i get it. chicago is getting close to being a perennial cup contender once again, and it wants star who can get the team over the hump. hossa is likely to do that. the only question is: even if the blackhawks bring home the trophy in the next five years, what's hossa going to do in the seven after that?

12 years. wow.

is sidney crosby the true king?

okay, puppet ads - we get it. lebron is amazing. he's the king. blah, blah, blah.

but as lebron spends yet another ringless offseason, let's pause to compare him to the next great one: sid the kid.

last night, 21-year-old sidney crosby led - nay, captained - the pittsburgh penguins to a victory in the stanley cup finals over the perennially dominant detroit red wings, with the pens coming back from deficits of 2-0 and 3-2. sure, malkin took home the conn smythe, but any true hockey fan knows that crosby is the heart and soul of that team.

meanwhile, lebron's nba-best cavs flopped in the playoffs, not even making it to the nba finals. and while lebron may be dominant on the court, i'm sure at least a teammate or two is sick of all the talk about him going to new york.

so who is the true king? in his fourth season, crosby celebrates with a stanley cup after making the finals for two consecutive years. meanwhile, in his sixth season, lebron is a superstar who has but an mvp title to his name - a trophy that surely looks bare in the case without an nba finals shiner standing next to it.

lebron gets paid $14 million a year, has innumerable endorsements, and is already prompting talk of unseating jordan (and his six championships). meanwhile, the humble crosby is actually one national title closer to filling the gigantic shoes left behind by wayne gretzky.

lebron, SHMEBRON. it's time to give credit where credit is due.

Jedi Mind Tricks

There's a fine line between cheating and using your head. When A-Rod shouted "Mine!" on that pop-up, people were angry presumably because he was using mind games rather than baseball strategy to influence a baseball game; had he performed a normal takeout slide into second to break up a double play, no one would have noticed. Of course, no one objects when you call a time-out to ice the kicker, either. 

While I don't necessarily disagree, and tend to get outraged/not care right along with everybody else, it is nevertheless true that I can't find any consistent standard that I/we are applying. Which means that I can't decide whether this is a questionable idea, or simply an impressive one. It also leads to even more questions, such as: has it ever occurred to anyone that the Cleveland Browns may have an advantage when running play-action fakes?

wednesday night sports digest

muller is at it again. the luxembourgish tennis star is ripping it up down under, into the third round at the australian open and on pace for another matchup with federer, the man who downed muller in the 2008 u.s. open quarterfinals en route to his 13th grand slam title. but if muller is going to have a shot at a rematch, he's going to have to take care of the powerful young juan martin del potro, the no. 8 seed who is sure to match muller's strong serve with some groundstroke blasts of his own.

in sports, retirement is always temporary. just ask 43-year-old claude lemieux, who is back on the ice in an NHL uniform in an attempt for yet another run at lord stanley's cup. and what better team to come back with than the sharks, who are guaranteed to have at least a share of the overall league lead heading into the all-star break? and this has to be good news from san jose's perspective. signing an old dude for the stretch run? this has all the makings of a p.j. brown / boston celtics kind of fairytale.

apparently, it's really hard to be no. 1. as i write, wake forest is trailing virginia tech by 10 in the second half. okay, the hokies are a good team, and they have done very well against top-ranked teams in recent history. but come on! this is a wake team that just beat clemson this past weekend! the only undefeated team in division I currently looks as helpless as can be. if jeff teague and co. can't turn this around, the blue devils stand to move into the top spot when the new rankings are released. will duke be able to avoid becoming the third acc team this season to fall from the mighty perch? or will they be denied that chance by getting owned by the terps on saturday? one can only hope for the latter.

best and worst sports memories

good and bad are really two sides of the same coin, and i think you will find that some of my sweetest memories are strongly related to some of my worst. that's what keeps us coming back to sports, though, right?


BEST MEMORIES:

-2002 ncaa tournament. jay williams choked, maryland rocked everyone - including kansas and indiana in the final two games - to take home its first-ever men's basketball national title. amazing. (and let's not forget the women's title in 2006.)

-2002 nlcs. after edging past the braves, the giants embarrass the cardinals in five games to clinch a spot in the world series. bonds is homer-ific, benito santiago is rocking the house, and robb nen is a closer extraordinaire. life is good.

-2005 u.s. open. gilles muller, a native of luxembourg, rocks the tennis world by upsetting andy roddick in the first round. yes, he loses in the second round, but at least it's to a half-luxembourger in robbie ginepri.

-2008 u.s. open. muller is back again, and this time he's even better, making a run all the way to the quarters before falling to eventual champion roger federer. what a beast.

-san jose sharks, any recent regular season. 2008-09 is a prime example, but the sharks have been the team to reckon with over the past few seasons. sure, they're not the red wings, but the sharks have been able to pair solid goaltending with serious offensive firepower for years now.

-dallas mavericks, most recent regular seasons. the jason-kidd-for-devin-harris-and-the-kitchen-sink-trade aside, the mavericks have been one of the better teams in the nba in the 2000s, including a run to the finals in 2006 and the best record in the league in 2006-07. no matter what your allegiances, you can't tell me you don't enjoy watching terry, nowitzki, and howard light up defenses - and, for howard, the occasional joint - night after night.


WORST MEMORIES:

-maryland, any season since 2002. gary williams has never been known for his recruiting, but especially since he got his title and waved goodbye to steve blake, juan dixon, chris wilcox, and co., he's thrown in the towel when it comes to getting good players to campus - and keeping them there. sure, maryland's likely to throw up a good upset every season, but without a big man and with serious academic issues, the terps no longer are a threat for the acc title like they were in the early part of the decade.

-2002 world series. in game 6, dusty baker hands russ ortiz the game ball in the 7th inning, and then all hell breaks loose. the rally monkey kicks ass, troy glaus gets the big hit off the injured robb nen, and those almost engraved rings are tossed out and emblazoned with halos instead. i don't eat dinner for two nights in a row.

-2003 nlds. you never want to end your season because you don't pinch-run for j.t. snow. especially when this is the last time you will make the playoffs for the rest of the decade.

-2008 tour de france. after several luxembourgers make runs at the yellow jersey, frank schleck establishes a solid lead heading into the final days of the race. but, of course, carlos sastre steals it away at the very end, denying schleck (and luxembourg) its well-deserved glory. no 'roids reported yet, but just you wait.

-san jose sharks, any recent postseason. i just can't explain it, but the sharks can't finish when it comes to the big-time. year after year, they lose to teams that have been playing worse than them. but after their four-overtime loss to dallas to exit stanley cup contention last season and todd mclellan's arrival in san jose, the sharks look like they may finally have what it takes to translate regular-season success into postseason glory. but that's what i thought last year, too.

-2006 nba finals. with a chance to go up 3-0 in the series, dirk (of all people!) misses a free throw, and the mavericks collapse. dwayne wade becomes a star, shaq gets another ring, and dallas blows its best chance to win a title.

-2007 western conference quarterfinals. you know how you ruin an amazing regular season? by losing to the eighth-seeded warriors in the first round.

Poop On Boozer Out-Of-Touch Masshole Update, Pt. 2

Can it really be true that the Bruins and Sharks are on a collision course to meet in the Stanley Cup? Will my friendship with K.L. survive?

tuesday night sports digest

time to stop saying "the U," guys. okay, i realize that the university of miami was a great football team back in the day. hell, i loved watching ken dorsey lead comeback after comeback, and i enjoyed the complete demolition the hurricanes defense inflicted on all their opponents. but in case santana moss and co. haven't noticed, miami now sucks. i mean, 4-4 in the acc? while the 'canes still have some great individual talent, miami is no longer the university to beat.

overreaction of the decade. remember when todd bertuzzi almost killed steve moore? remember how he cried a little, and then he continued playing for top NHL teams? well, apparently, almost paralyzing a person is much less offensive than making a casual (although admittedly very offensive) comment about your ex-girlfriends and the players now dating them. i may be missing something, but did sean avery cross some special line? T.O. says worse stuff every day, and he keeps getting jobs in the big D. so why did the stars decide to eat several million dollars and cut avery? could it just be because he isn't all that good? either way, this only adds to what continues to be an embarrassing season for co-GM brett hull. (but the sharks are lookin' good, eh?)

more on the mitchell report. what report, you say? yeah, i know the mitchell report was forever ago, but tom verducci had a good SI piece on the lasting effects of bud selig's decision to crack down on drugs in baseball. check it out if you haven't read it yet.

how good is the big east? the verdict is still out. while this week's rankings certainly favor big east squads, the orange showed that those teams are far from invincible. the real question remains: can anyone beat the tar heels? well, i think someone might have to smack hansbrough in the face again before that becomes a real possibility.

Poop On Boozer Out-Of-Touch Masshole Update

The Bruins are good?

sunday night sports digest

that dirk is such a maverick! this one reaches back a few weeks, but it's worth pointing out for those of you who missed it back then. ever imagine what it would be like to have sarah palin as president? let's just say that nowitzki has a prominent role in the oval office. click on the picture frame behind palin's desk...

dangerous waters. we're just a few weeks into the NHL season, and san jose is running away with the pacific division. i should be excited, no? well, given the sharks' recent run as regular-season dominators and postseason underwhelmers, even an 80-win season wouldn't be enough assurance come springtime. one thing's for sure: todd mclellan is not coaching like a rookie.

unbeaten, but still boring. after sneaking past the bears on the road, the titans are 9-0, more than halfway to a perfect regular season. but there isn't a hint of the drama that surrounded the pats as they made their run last year. why? because tennessee just isn't that good. kerry collins at QB and a running game that produced just 20 net yards against chicago? let's just say the titans' destiny isn't exactly etched into stone quite yet.

psu really smells like poo, poo, poo. as if penn state didn't already have things hard enough playing in the unimpressive big ten, they went and crapped the bed against iowa to thoroughly eliminate any chance of making the bcs championship game. (note to self: i should probably avoid making absolute statements this year when it comes to college football. oh well.) so can we expect bama-red raiders come january? eh... not so fast. each will have a pretty significant hurdle in its championship game, and alabama didn't exactly look stellar against LSU. teams that have faded from the national spotlight (USC, anyone?) may still have a shot at getting back into the big game.

JJ is within reach. after grabbing the pole in phoenix, jimmie johnson is poised to take his third straight sprint cup title. what are you doing reading this?! flip over to ABC to check out the action! and no, you don't have to live south of the mason-dixon line to appreciate JJ's talent.

monday night sports digest

three-day weekend = bonus sports.

to the devil with it. so tampa bay drops the evil part of its name and suddenly can't be stopped? my predictions are still within reason, but the rays are making baseball fans scratch the back of their heads in confusion. you have to feel for lester, though - not only does he have the pressure of red sox nation upon him, but he's also fighting for all those cancer survivors that consider him their hero.

phillies keep thumpin'. for all the talk about the weakness of the NL, LA and philadelphia are certainly putting on an offensive show. while kuroda silenced the phillies' bats in game 3, victorino and stairs put some juice behind the ball in the come-from-behind victory tonight. a victor-in-y, perhaps? nah, guess not.

no mo' romo. go figure: of all the things he could have hurt, tony romo goes and breaks his pinkie - and now he's out for a month. now dallas isn't even in position to take advantage of the suddenly beatable new york football giants. if the nfc east looked invincible two weeks ago, it's just another division again come tuesday morning. but hey, new york, at least the market's back on track!

year of the serbian. djokovic and ivanovic are pretty sweet, but jelena is proving that she is the serbian you don't want to mess with. ousting zvonareva in the final of the kremlin cup, jankovic won her third title in three weeks and solidified her spot as the no. 1 player in the world. she may not be a (singles) grand slam champion, but she is by far one of the most competitive women on the circuit.

a hockey tragedy. unfortunately, this digest ends on a sad note. new york rangers prospect alexei cherepanov, 19, died of an apparent heart attack towards the end of a game in the continental hockey league. authorities are currently investigating whether adequate medical care was available at the rink, and one can only hope that this terrible occurrence leads pro sports franchises around the country to reexamine their emergency preparations to ensure that such health-related occurrences can be avoided in the future.

a video is worth a thousand words

on thursday night, the NHL kicks off the regular season in full force after a few international bouts to get fans going.

not excited? you've just forgotten what the game is all about. let this video bring back the good times - and get you ready for another sweet season.

he's got the brain to go with the brawn

the Boston Herald reported the other day that former crimson captain and current panthers defenseman noah welch agreed to donate his brain to medical science.

okay, okay, get all those jokes out of your system about dumb jocks. hardy har har.

but welch's move is actually very important. in a sport like ice hockey, players can sustain quite serious head injuries due to the physical nature of the sport. by studying the long-term impact of big hits on the brain, scientists, doctors, and engineers can do more to protect athletes - especially younger ones - from doing too much damage to themselves.

it certainly isn't easy to actually commit your organs to posterity - who hasn't had a brief nightmare of having their organs harvested while being still alive? - so welch should should be commended for his move, especially as he is the first hockey player who has agreed to pledge his brain to science. here's hoping that he'll able to convince his teammates and peers to sign on for the research as well.