Some Quick Math

161 is 79.7% of 202.

I just wanted to clear that up, since there's been some controversy. You'd think such a statement wouldn't really be open for debate, but here we are.

Allow me to explain. $161 million is roughly the 2011 payroll of the Boston Red Sox. $202 million is roughly the 2011 payroll of the New York Yankees. And I have had quite enough of people telling me that the Red Sox spend "just as much" on their talent as the Yankees do.

Let's clear up a couple of other things, while we're at it. Spending money is good. If you have it, you should spend it. I don't fault the Yankees for spending $202 million, and I applaud them (and their massive market) for having $202 million to spend. If the Red Sox were to spend $203 million, that would not be evil or wrong, as long as they spent it effectively.

But there is a stigma associated with being the league's high-spender, and there is a tendency to lump the Red Sox and Yankees in the same category. The Red Sox and Yankees, and everyone else. (Funny, that isn't how the list reads some years, but that doesn't stop people from deciding the Sox and Yanks are the two fat-cats.) And it simply doesn't work that way.

Spending $161 million and spending $202 million is not the same thing. It's not even close. It is 20% different. It is $41 million different. It is the difference between a B- and an A+. It is the difference between a genius IQ of 155 and a middling 123. Imagine if the Yankees decided to send Mark Teixeira over to the Red Sox, for absolutely nothing in return, just because. That would just about even things out.

Let's clarify one last time, because it is easy for people to misrepresent the facts in this debate:

-Teams should spend all the money they have, guilt-free

-The Red Sox and Yankees both spend a lot of money on their teams
-However, the Yankees both possess and spend way more money than any other team, including the Red Sox, by a ridiculous margin
-Rooting for the Yankees is still evil

I do hope that clears things up. If anyone disagrees, I will happily accept 20% of your salary from now on. Don't worry, you'll still be making about the same amount of money.

Seeing Red

Changing your uniform design is like calling one of those last-second timeouts just as the opposing team is about to kick a field goal. Sure, it may have been a good call--maybe their first try would have been straight through the uprights, but they choke when they have to kick it again. However, when you think about it, it's just as likely that they miss that first kick, and your ill-advised, too-clever-by-half timeout gives them the second chance they need.

Switching up your team's logo and uniform design is kind of like that. There's always the chance that your old design really was an eyesore, and the change is actually an improvement. However, it's just as likely that you're fixing what isn't broken, overthinking and overacting when the best move is to leave well enough alone.

Now, if you're like me, you probably weren't sitting around thinking, "You know what really needs a change? The Boston Red Sox logo that's existed happily for 29 years." But that's what sets people like you and me apart from the Red Sox brass. Maybe it was the Game 7 ALCS lost that left a sour taste in their mouths, but after two recent World Series wins and God knows how many millions in revenue, they suddenly decided that this just wasn't good enough anymore.

Now, let's face it: baseball doesn't have much over other sports. While I love it to death, it's slow, objectively boring, and as much as I keep hoping it will happen, the players never start hitting each other with their bats. The one thing baseball does have in its corner is history. No American sport can touch baseball's unique place in Americana, and its steady presence through every cultural transformation. Love them or hate them, the Red Sox have pretty much always been there. And through Reagan, the Berlin Wall, O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, September 11th, and Barack Obama, they had the same logo.

The point is that baseball isn't simply historic--it's also somehow comforting in the way that it stays the same as we grow and change. If you're the Blue Jays, sure, you can feel free to try out some new uniforms. But if you're one of baseball's most stories franchises, then that's just not going to fly, especially if you decide to change to this.

Red Sox Love Has Driven Me Insane

Still breathing.

That's the thought that flashed through my mind as I lay on the hardwood floor, moments after collapsing in a heap in front of the TV screen and moments before regaining my full cognitive functions.

I'm still breathing. This game didn't kill me.

It was tense as the Red Sox closed in on the Tampa Bay Rays, and was it ever fun. As the improbable turned into the impossible and then into the ridiculous, as J.D. Drew's ninth-inning liner screamed through the enchanted Fenway air, as 7-0 improbably, impossibly, 

ridiculously, turned into 8-7...it was fun.

The second thought that occurred to me, after I confirmed that I was still alive, was that my team was still breathing as well. I had seen it shocked back to life by a series of question marks--Dustin Pedroia and his postseason slump, J.D. Drew and his ailing back, David Ortiz and his bum wrist, Justin Masterson and his rookie jitters. If all those roadblocks to postseason success could be forgotten in two-and-a-third innings, then why shouldn't Josh Beckett return to form against James Shields in Saturday's Game 6, and why shouldn't Jon Lester bounce back if there should be a Game 7? This is Boston. Why not?

Momentum, of course, is a tricky thing, and, thinking realistically, there are plenty of reasons why the rest of the series may not go as unbelievably well. But no matter what happens on Saturday night, Thursday's miracle had irreversible consequences. It reignited the passion and hunger of Red Sox fans, who, like Patriots fans before them, had become bloated and complacent with too much mundane success. Thanks to Thursday's insanity, Red Sox fans care again, as much as they did in 2004, and that's no small feat, considering Pats fans never cared again as much as they did in 2001.

In some ways, victory in baseball is just a synonym for delaying the inevitable. Even if the Red Sox are as successful as it is possible to be, even if they never lose again, their season will still end at some point. But that's why the effects of Thursday's win were so important. I had taken October baseball for granted, but after staring death in the face, I'm just happy to have the chance to see one more game, to watch my team taste the postseason at least one more time. After Thursday, I appreciate what I've got. And if James Shields thinks he can take that away from me, well, I'd love to see him try.

Maybe It's Me?

I arrived in Boston as a college student in September of 2004.

Yes, the Patriots had just won the Super Bowl in January earlier that year, but what other sports success had the city had in the recent years before? Celtics? No chance. Red Sox, remember that Curse? Bruins? Please.

I'll go ahead and take credit for that Patriots' championship prior to my arrival, because I knew I was headed to Boston back in December 2003.

Then, what happens?

The Red Sox beat the odds (and the Curse) and win the World Series in 2004, and cap it off with another Series victory in 2007 to bookend my college life in Boston with 2 Championships.

The Patriots won again in 2005, allowing Boston to continue their celebration in the wake of the Sox Curse-Breaking win.

Then, in my final week in Boston, the Celtics brought home a long overdue championship.

Sure, the Patriots lost in the 2008 Super Bowl, but who can argue with the 17-0 record prior to that as not being successful? Perhaps that Super Bowl loss was just a sign of things to come for the city.

Now? I'm gone. I've left Boston, and it's sports are a question mark.

Brady's out. With one whack to the knee, the MVP is out for the year, and the Patriots chances of remedying their Super Bowl disappointment last season just went down the tubes.

The Red Sox, leading in the AL East when I left Boston, are now trailing Tampa Bay for the division lead and are risking not making the playoffs at all.

The Celtics are celebrating way too much, and are poised to struggle in their effort to defend their championship (OK, so this is just wishful thinking, but it definitely falls in line with my theory).

The Bruins? Who?

And now, the good news? I've relocated to LA. Having attached "Los Angeles" to their name, the Angels may reap the benefits of me being in the City of Angels, and the Lakers are destined to have Andrew Bynum and Co. make a repeat (and hopefully successful) trip to the NBA Finals.

I'm liking my theory.

Le folie

There I was, driving through the outskirts of Québec City, Canada, when, on a whim, I decided to turn on the car radio, and was greeted by two familiar voices:

"Ball one to Coco, down and in..."

Somehow, gloriously, the Red Sox radio guys had wafted all the way from their outpost in Maine or New Hampshire and into my car, here in the heart of French Canada. Not only that, but I soon learned that, in a game in which their starting pitcher was making his major-league debut, the Sox were winning 10-2, with David Ortiz having hammered two three-run homers in the first inning.

"What a night!" I said to myself. "Quelle merveilleux! Baseball sure is grand! Here I am, eating crepes and enjoying the sunset over the St. Lawrence while listening to my team wallop the Texas Rangers from hundreds of miles away. What a world we live in! What a time to be a Bostonian--nay, an American--nay, a human being!"

How young I was, how tragically naive. Two hours later, my team has now blown its 10-run first-inning lead and is actually losing, 16-14. And here I sit, in a hotel room in Lévis, helplessly watching the mlb.com scoreboard light up with "in play, run(s)" for the Rangers, over and over, ad nauseam. "In play, run(s)" never seems to mean just one run when you really want it to, have you ever noticed that?

Anyway, I will sign off for now, as the French-Canadian torture continues. The Red Sox have two on with nobody out in the seventh. Dare I hope? Dare I dream it? Only time will tell...

Poop on the AL East - The Angels have!

Dating back to July 25, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have only played AL East opponents. That's 2 series against the Orioles, 2 against the Yankees, and one at Fenway against the Sox.

Sweep the Sox? Check.
Sweep the Yanks? Check.

16 games, and 12 victories, including 8 of 10 against the Sox and Yanks--the duo that instills the most fear in the rest of the league, even nowadays.

The most recent was today's 4-3 victory, capped off by a Chone Figgins single past Robinson Cano in the bottom of the 9th to give the Halos--and the Rally Monkey faithful--a sweep of the Bronx Bombers in Anaheim (not Los Angeles, believe it or not, I was there!)

Here's the point: the Angels improved to 74-43 overall, good for the best record in baseball, hold a 14-game division lead over the Rangers, and are now 8-3 in the Teixiera-era.

Even more impressive? Angels fans actually stuck around to see the end of today's nail-biter. The place was packed through the walk-off single by Figgins, which, if you've ever been to a Southern California baseball game, is certainly notable.

The East Coasters may have their history, and that's all well and good, but sorry folks, there's no question who the best team in baseball is right now.

Poop on Manny

Ladies and gentlemen, the first person I would officially like to poop on through this site is one Manuel "Manny" Aristides Ramírez Onelcida. First of all, I had no idea Manny Ramirez was actually named that until I just looked it up four seconds ago. But that's not why I want to poop on him. The reason is this: since his hotly contested trade to the Dodgers, Mr. Onelcida is hitting .565 with four homers and nine RBI's in six games.

Now, those are unholy, ungodly numbers, but there are several potential nonpoopworthy explanations. The first, obviously, is random coincidence. It's certainly not unheard of for a hitter to get that hot, and the fact that Manny happened to start tearing the cover off the ball the day he first felt the California sunshine could just be a coincidence.

There's also the AL/NL factor to consider. It's no secret the American League has dominated its counterpart over the past decade in everything from World Series titles to All-Star Game wins to interleague play records. Manny could be the latest embodiment of what is known as the Renteria Principle, in which a player's production shifts significantly once he changes leagues, inciting riots and civil unrest in Boston.

My guess is that both of these factors have contributed, in at least a small way, to Manny's hot streak, but there's also the stench of deliberate sabotage. You may not believe the charge that Scott Boras promised the Red Sox that Manny would play nice if they let him become a free agent next season, but at this point it's tough to put anything past Boras, or Manny. And this offer/ultimatum certainly makes it seem as if Manny Ramirez was not only deliberately being a terrible teammate, but also sacrificing his on-field production in order to necessitate a trade. It's not quite the 1919 World Series, but it's also not the way the game was meant to be played. Obviously, as a Red Sox fan, I'm biased, but I think we can all get behind pooping on that.

EDIT: I should add that there would, in fact, be some irony in pooping on Manny.