Kickoff to Election Season

You may know us, the editors of Poop on Boozer, merely as expert and witty sports enthusiasts, but in reality, we are so much more. Sure, we appreciate a perfectly executed suicide squeeze, but we also appreciate the bold emotionality of expressionist painting, the fragile pathos of La Traviata, or the subtle tones in a glass of finely aged brandy.

What am I talking about? I don't know. I've never had brandy. But I am dimly aware that there is some sort of political convention going on this week, and potentially next week as well. And in light of that, we at Poop on Boozer have decided to go with the flow and present you with:

POLITICAL FIGURES AS NFL ATHLETES

Barack Obama: Adrian Peterson. Like Obama, Peterson blew onto his sport's biggest stage as if from nowhere (Oklahoma is close enough to nowhere for our purposes), instantly garnering more attention than some of his more established counterparts. And while his flashy moves lead many to believe he has what it takes to be one of the all-time greats, and has already begun to establish his place in history, others claim that his fame is mainly due to one 296-yard performance that, like a 2004 convention speech, may not translate to present or future success.

Hillary Clinton: Brett Favre (off-field). One of the most recognized faces in her field, Hillary has been in the national spotlight for over a decade but has perhaps never dominated the headlines more than she has this summer (although she was pretty famous for being part of a title-winning team in 1996). However, she has also had some issues stepping aside gracefully when her time has come, refusing to relinquish her claim to the presidency even when it was clear that America had committed to going in a new direction. She currently works in New York.

John McCain: Brett Favre (on-field). Experienced, poised, and with the appearance of a true leader, Favre sacrificed his body for the sport that he loves, developing a Vicodin addiction after being subjected to the torture of NFL linebackers. Favre is often praised as a "maverick" and a "gunslinger" for his unconventional methods, but the question remains: do his many interceptions demonstrate that, as a decision-maker, he is no better than President Bush?

Next week: is Minnesota governor and Republican vice-presidential hopeful Tim Pawlenty the T.J. Houshmanzadeh of politics?