Kickoff to Election Season, Pt. 2

Well, the VP picks are in for both parties, and we at Poop on Boozer would be derelict in our duties if we did not update our previous post and tell you, the politically savvy, culturally literate, and information-hungry reader, exactly which NFL players these nominees most resemble.

Joe Biden: Pacman Jones. No one doubts Biden's experience, his ability to make smart and adept political plays to support his Democratic team. No, it's his "off-field" behavior which has his supporters worried. Biden is notably volatile and infamous for his frequent gaffes; he has a propensity to allow awkward, blunt, or politically insensitive comments to, if you will, rain down onto the American public. If Biden can clean up these extracurricular slipups, his sheer talent should get him far.

Sarah Palin: Ryan Leaf. With one high-profile QB pick already locked up in the 1998 draft, the San Diego Chargers generated instant buzz when they followed the Colts' choice of Peyton Manning by selecting Ryan Leaf, who had previously served as QB at Washington State. Leaf, however, soon found that the level of play in the NFL was very different from the small-time football of the Pacific Northwest. His inexperience shone through, leading many to question if he was truly read to lead an NFL franchise--even as a backup quarterback, he would always be a heartbeat away from starting, and the Chargers eventually found this idea too uncomfortable to tolerate, releasing him after the 2000 season.

And finally, as a special bonus pick:

Hurricane Gustav: Michael Vick. All the American public wanted to do this election season was focus on the politics that matters: who will win, who will lose, who will take home the title, and who will be doomed to a long off-season of wondering just what went wrong. But instead, Gustav came along, forcing us to turn our attention to a much more tragic and morbid story that left much of the South in turmoil. Soon, thankfully, Gustav will be gone from the public eye forever, never to return.