SCENE: Special committee's office, Major League Baseball Headquarters, Park Avenue, New York. Fourteen men in suits sit around a coffee table littered with coffee mugs. A Major League Baseball logo placard decorates the far wall. The chair of the meeting stands at the head of the table, below the logo.
MEETING CHAIR: Okay, guys, listen up. Bud wanted us to get together because we have a problem. Our sport has a huge economic and competitive imbalance. HUGE. The good teams are about five times richer than the bad teams. Can you believe that? Five times as much money. They're also, as you'd imagine, significantly better. I mean, sure, sometimes the poorer teams make the playoffs, but they usually don't, and they almost never win the World Series, and they NEVER establish any lasting success. So, I mean, we're supposed to restore the competitive balance, but really, we should probably find some way to give the teams an equal or close to equal amount of money, and start with that. Because really, the roots of this thing are economic, and if we fix that, the competitive balance should follow naturally. So--we need to overhaul this entire system and find a way to share this wealth, really get in-depth with our revenue system. Any ideas?
MEETING ATTENDEE #12: What if we just shuffled the divisions? It would cut down on divisional rivalries. People hate divisional rivalries, right? Isn't that a thing?
MEETING CHAIR: YES. I like it. Let's adjourn. Any thoughts on dinner?
MEETING ATTENDEE #4: Tapas?
MEETING CHAIR: Love tapas.
(Exeunt. On the wall, the white-silouhetted man on the MLB logo placard sheds a single white-silouhetted tear for the state of his league.)
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