GUEST POST: poop on the top line!

since we here at poop on boozer have been slow with the posts recently - hey, come on, we have to earn our rent, too! - here's a guest post from the one and only r.e. to keep you entertained.

yeah, i know he writes a lot. give him a break - it's tough being a tar heels fan in 2009.

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As an avid follower of both emerging technologies and most major American sports, usually my life only gets better when the two worlds collide. Just think – hasn’t TiVo changed the way you watch sports (read: instant replay)? How much better is watching football on a 42-inch HD set compared to your old 32-inch CRT? How much more intense is March when you can see individual beads of sweat fling off Stephen Curry’s hand as he buries a three to down Georgetown? Sports, in part, is about the drama created through amazing athleticism, and as technology improves, so does our ability to both appreciate the art of the game, and to become immersed in the event as if we were truly taking part.

It therefore came as such a surprise to my roommate, Poop on Boozer beat writer K.L. (I’d say the one-and-only, but I don’t want Facebook to make a liar out of me), to hear me verbally abusing the television set because of a technological advance, not due to the lack of one of my many likely ill-fated technological pipe dreams (don’t you also want to smell Stephen Curry’s sweat?). For those of you who tuned in to the predictably… well, predictable BC / Maryland game on ESPN2 tonight, you probably already know what my beef is, because you’ve been thinking the same thing for the last two hours: for what possible reason do I need to read comments from viewers who likely know less about basketball than I do?

My apologies – let’s take a step back. As part of its ongoing effort to widen its appeal across audiences and across platforms, ESPN is piloting an updated version of “Interactive Tuesdays.” Yes, I can already hear you groaning, and rightfully so. To put it short, “Interactive Tuesdays” is a broad expansion of tools like the SportsNation poll (which, let’s face it, is completely and shamelessly biased based on users’ geographic location) from the web straight to your TV. Individuals (who require no more certification than a free ESPN.com account) can submit comments via ESPN.com (search “Interactive,” as if embedded searches ever work) or text message (to 43776) to discuss the featured game of the day. This is nothing new; ESPN.com has held similar chats with experts as well as allowed users to comment on news articles in the past in an effort to build an online community. What is new, however, is that now a selection of these comments (obviously filtered by someone in the Bristol mailroom) are displayed in a new scrolling “Top Line” (all rights reserved, R.E., 2009) above the actual action you tuned in to watch.

Now, you tell me: why, exactly, should I care what users like “Sheydel” ("Maryland has to take better shots…") or “asimpso1” ("MARYLAND is SOOOOO bad!!!! Hahahahahaa") have to say, even if they’re right (Maryland did need to take better shots, and, let’s be honest – how many more times can Maryland jump out to a commanding lead only to buckle under the – wait, what pressure?)? Find yourself speechless? I hope so. As it is, half of the ‘insights’ and ‘analysis’ provided by the broadcasters literally came out of my mouth 30 seconds earlier (and likely several other times throughout the game), and I doubt that these other guys have anything else of any value to add. At least when Dicky V talks about some Duke kid in a diaper, he doesn’t get in the way of Danny Green sticking it to Greg what’s-his-face-I-don’t-remember-because-he-got-benched-his-senior-year.

To give ESPN some credit, at least they’re trying something different and attempting to enhance the fan experience. It even makes sense from a business perspective – this program increases awareness of additional features on the website, which drives traffic (and thus ad revenue), increases attachment to the brand, and so on. However, let me suggest that they make some other more basic improvements instead. Like, for instance, the indiscernible lack of HD coverage on nationally-broadcast weeknight games. I understand that Maryland doesn’t hold the same national prowess as it did in the early 2000s, and that they are fresh off a seemingly 98-point loss to the Blue Babies, but why on Earth was this game left in standard definition while the other ACC game (Miami vs. NC State) did get the special treatment, even though it was broadcast on ESPNU, which only .0034% of the country actually gets? Think, ESPN, please; if you’re going to cut off the top of my screen with useless comments, at least give me some 1080p coverage instead of those grey ESPN logos on the left and right.

On a day that clearly could have gone better for Terps everywhere, hopefully Gary Williams can take solace in knowing that user “neal990” ("I think Gary Williams got fired at halftime, that explains this collapse") has a short memory (as much as it pains me to throw in a Duke highlight, hopefully it only gives credence and a level of balance in this otherwise biased post), and won’t be among the masses calling for his head at season’s end.

So, ESPN, there you have it – Poop on the Top Line (all rights still reserved).

Whoops... looks like I owe myself a benjamin.